November 12, 2008

Unnamed Feelings

I wish every feeling had a name, and I knew them all. For, how do I describe what I’ve been feeling all these past days! Swinging between optimism and anxiety, belief and restlessness, anticipation and disappointment, then again optimism and then anxiety… What’s all this?!?

Ah, I wish I had someone who'd care enough to talk to me and ask how am I, how’s everything… I wish I had someone, well the same thing, someone to talk to. I like getting attention. Don’t you feel special when you know there's someone always there for you, worrying about you, concerned about you, who wants to care for you day in and day out!

Someone, jusstttt for you. Just for you. They make you feel special. They listen to your every silly whims and fancies, even though it may not make any sense at all. But they still listen to you. And the best thing is to know that they are actually interested in every damn useless thing that you’re saying, only because it is “you” who’s saying it. Just how great it feels…!

Yeah, you might be thinking I’m talking about my beloved. Well, I haven’t found one yet. Let's hope I find her soon,. I want to meet her, wherever and whoever she is. I don’t want to be alone. I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to feel special. I want to be cared, and I want to care for someone. I want to be the special someone for someone. I want to have that privilege of knowing everything about her that no one else knows. I want to be her ultimate confidante. I want to be her comforter, to whom she’ll turn every time she’s down, to hear words of love, sympathy, encouragement and admiration. I love a lot. That is to say, I’m a very loving person. I love beyond limits. I wish I get to meet my soulmate pretty soon, asap. (Sigh)

Well, I know, God gives us everything at the right time, but I hope “this” is my right time. I want to be in love. I want to love and to be loved. I want to feel the sun from both sides. God, send love my way.

Hmm… Well that’s not exactly why I started writing this entry. Well it always happens with me, I start with something else in mind and end up writing something else. Haha… Just shows how much I want/need to talk. I wish I had a friend to talk to.

GOD.. You know I’m such a good guy. C’mon, I’ve been a good friend to so many people, and tried to help them in whichever way I could, don’t you think I deserve someone now who’d listen to me and care for me without being judgmental! I know I deserve at least one such friend, who’d be concerned and worried for me, who’d shower me with attention and praise, who’d make me feel important by sharing her secrets, her fears, her ambitions… Someone I can turn to anytime for anything, someone who can turn to me anytime for anything.

Hmm… I can just go on and on like this. But I’ve got lots of things to do, so I’ll wrap it up here. God, Universe, I hope you’re listening to me, ya? Universe, remember “know that what you want is yours the moment you ask?” God, remember “ask and you shall receive?” I know you remember everything, for you are the supreme power. I asked, give it to me now. NOW!

Haha, that’s not rude, that’s demanding ;-) Well, to be honest, I know (I mean I really believe) that that someone special (friend or better) must be here, somewhere around me; 100% sure about that. Universe, just let me know, give me some signal. Give me my friend I so truly deserve! Thank you :-)

“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” — H L Mencken


Nilam said...


I hope till now, you should have found someone special...

UNNAMED FEELINGS...I loved this post...i reciprocate the same feelings....I also wish if I can identify the thin line between friendship and love...

Hemant Gairola said...

Hey, Nilam!

When I wrote this post, it had been a month since my very close friend (with whom I was in love) had turned very cold friend. She was my someone special. Still special, but not mine.

But well, hope is always there...

Thanks for commenting!