December 05, 2011

Torment at the end of the road

Weighed down by life's cruelties, she found herself stuck at the end of the road. Watching from above, God whispered: "My child, look up, look around. It's not the end of the road. It's just a bend in the road."

She could not hear; sound of the bygone, happy days was ringing in her ears, haunting her. She could not see; having seen only pain everywhere, she had neither the strength nor the desire to see anything now. She was just standing there, wishing she could be numb so that she could deal with the rest of life, if merely surviving can be called a life. Reading her mind, God thought: "If only she would wish for guidance instead..."

She was devastated. She raised her eyes, but there was the stonewall in front of her. That seemed to be her future—cold and lifeless. She did not want to be here. She looked back at the road, the pleasant journey and let out a sigh. She had dreams, great dreams, grand dreams. She thought of everything she cherished and felt happy. And now she felt sad. Everything she cherished is left behind. Whatever remains will soon be left behind. 
A tear trickled down her cheek. She didn't even care to wipe it. There used to be people who used to wipe her tears for her. But here, at the 'end' of the road, she's alone. And then she cried some more. As a teardrop from her lovely but sad eyes kissed the dirt around her feet, Mother Earth wished if only the poor soul would look around instead of looking at the wall ahead and the past behind.

But she was blank, just like the 'life' and stonewall she had in front of her. This point in journey had taken its toll on her. It was draining her every moment. But now that she had compromised with her highest ideals of life and love, she didn't mind emptiness. The emptier the better. She asked the cruelty that landed her here to drain her completely; the emotionless state would make her immune to her misery. She asked her angels to stonewall her feelings, just like the wall. Meanwhile, her guardian angels were asking that she just ask them for help.

She knew she was once a pretty picture but now she was a picture of pity. Her soul wailed at what she wanted of life and what became of it. She just stood there, clutching on to her dreams, all the while pretty clear that she has to let it go. She has nightmare to embrace, after all. She just stood there, trying to be numb. Observing her, her spiritual guides hoped she hopes a hope.

But she just stood there, tormented. Her once-happy past was tormenting her. The stonewall in front was tormenting her. And the end of the road was tormenting her. And, watching from above, God whispered: "My child, look up, look around. It's not the end of the road. It's just a bend in the road."

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