January 05, 2011

Why I came to office in fake Adidas half-pant today

Today has been one of those days I'd like to forget. Your Honour, I ask, is it a sin to ride a bike in Bangalore with fake Adidas half-pants on? Why, why did those bloody *#%@~ traffic cops stopped me twice? A challan of Rs 600 (grrrrrrrr...)! Because of the series of unfortunate incidents today, I'm sitting in my office, wearing that fake Adidas half-pant, looking dirty and like a pick-pocket.

The day started off alrite, went to gym, worked out. Then came Khadag Singh (actually known as Kuldeep Singh, mera school-time, chaddi friend). He said let's go to buy supplement (for bodybuilding). Ok, we went. The address he had seemed non-existent. Kept going in circles. The first time around, a cop stopped and asked for licence. I had it, showed it and got going.

After another futile search for that mythical shop, proceeded to a different route. Bloody traffic cops stopped me again. (But my question is, why? Just because I'm wearing half-pants!!) They asked for licence. Gave it. The bugger then asked for insurance too (it has expired around three monts ago). Slapped a fine of Rs 500 for that. Then imposed a fine of Rs 100 for defective number plate. This is too much! The front no. plate is clearly visible, just that the bottom part of one zero is scratched. Damn it, saale ne kaat liye Rs 100 uske bhi.

Maa-baap ki baat nahi sunne ka yahi nateeja hota hai. Pitashri has been saying for three months, "Beta, insurance karwa lo. Beta, insurance karwa lo." Had I got the work done on time, it'd have cost me only around Rs 400. Now, after three months it expired, I got fined for Rs 500 plus I'll have to pay around Rs 800-1,000 for renewal.

But that's not all for today's bad day. After the penalty, I said let's go get insurance done today. Couldn't find the bloody office! I had a rough idea of the address, searched that bloody place for around two hours but couldn't locate it. It's only when we headed to our room that I noticed the office; it was in the next street. Ok, went it, spoke to them. They said, "Ohhhh.. 4:30 already. Now no cash transaction. Yooouuuuuu go there tomaarow."

Ok, the momentary joy of finding the office vanished. Started towards my room, feeling hungry and all (mind you, I was coming straight from gym). Ok, after riding for two km, bike ran out of petrol. Ewwwwww...... Pushed the bike for around 500 mtr, got refuelled.

Looked at the watch, 5 pm already. Office starts at 5:30. No point in going to my room and coming back (20 km total) just to change into full pant. So I came straight to office. And here I'm, sitting in my fake Adidas half-pant, explaining people the tragic reason behind my ang-pradarshan.

January 01, 2011

2011: I'm gonna make it fantastic

It's new year! Time to make resolutions, aye? Well, no more impossible resolutions like "bathe daily", "no birdwatching". But enough freewheeling. It's time to get serious, responsible. If I want this year to be different (read better), I have to be different (yes, better). Thus my new year resolutions:

1. Make a lot of money. I say I'm in love, wanna marry her. What sort of parents would accept a guy with a measly pay of Rs 13,500! Dude, get rich. Get a new bike and at least a car this year. (I'm not kiddin'!)
2. Start writing op-ed pieces, news features that are lying dormant in your mind, you jerk! They are excellent ideas.
3. Be a wordsmith. There must not be a word, an idiom, a phrase unknown to you.
4. Learn Kannada, swami. I'm halfway there. Nanage swalpa-swalpa barate. But dude, learn more. Get sakkath fluent.
5. Get better at guitar. I'm not even half as bad as my batchmates in IIJNM think. Just that I got nervous. I had picked up guitar in 2006. In summer of 2011, it's gonna be five long years since then! Get better, get better!
6. Get khatraa physique. Yeah, dude. Enough of being skinny. Time to put on some muscle. You're doing good, just keep up the tempo.
7. Stop being a clown. No tomfoolery unless I'm with my childhood friends.
8. Be punctual, boy. You don't like making people wait but you still end up doing so.
And most important...
9. Get her committed to you. I don't know how to do it, just know that gotta do it.

Less important ones:
1. Learn more recipes, especially south Indian.
2. Wash your bike regularly.
3. Stop chasing dogs to avenge their chasing you at night.
4. Get cell for your wristwatch. It stopped working more than an year ago, since then you've been wearing it just for show.
5. No more wearing socks with holes.
6. Blog more frequently.

Now, how has been 2010 for me? Well, watched Backstreet Boys from first row. Got to interact with MLTR (so what if I got tongue-tied and embarrassed myself). Watched Sachin score 200+ in India's win over Aus. My one-sided love life has been a roller-coaster ride and still hangs by an eyelid. Lost a cherished friend. Lived (and living) with beloved school-time friends. Whoa! Cool enough!

For 2011, Bryan Adams is gonna perform in Bangalore. Reportedly Boyzone too are gonna come. Maybe this year I'll lose my single status. (What maybe, I think it's gonna happen.) I'll become a model, a role-model, everything that I want to be. I have become serious (a bit serious, haven't lost my foolish charm). Well, life cannot be more exciting.

I'm not gonna wish that 2011 turns out to be good for me. I'm gonna work so that it turns out good. Nay, excellent. Yeah. Why not!