January 20, 2012

My dream girls, please spare me

When we were in class 12, my friend—who, like me, was in one-sided puppy love for the first time—once told me how he could not wait to go to sleep at night. Reason: His sweetheart used to visit him in his dreams. While in real life the girl used to call him "bhaiyya" (this is what happens when you're in love with a school junior), I suppose she was all lovey-dovey in the dream.

I was not as fortunate as my friend. Yes, my girl too made guest appearances in my dreams a couple of times but... Na, I shouldn't say "my girl". I could never muster the courage to go and speak to her. And when I did, she, too, like my friend's crush, called me "bhaiyya". Anyway, when my friend told me about thisbhaiyya-to-sainyaa transition in the dream, I saw a ray of hope. Thought at least in dreams I'd be able to tell her how beautiful I think her eyes are. And wanted to ask what colour they are. I think black, but not sure.

From the time she found out I'm smitten by her, her father used to take her to and from the school on his motorcycle. I suspect he's an Amrish Puri-esque dad. Why else, I demand to know, did he accompany his daughter even in my dreams? Why?! Should I call it a dream or a nightmare? She came in my dreams only a couple of times, but on both the occasions she was flanked by her dad. The dreams were like real life. In the first, she was sitting behind Mugambo on his motorcycle, staring at me with her big, beautiful eyes. There was distance between us, literally and figuratively. The second dream was similar, except that this time she and the angry old man were walking. I could never tell whether she was staring lovingly or angrily.

That was infatuation and I was 16 then. Even four years later, when I was truly, madly, deeply in love—one-sided love—it was the same story. She did come in my dreams a few times and they were strikingly similar to the real life: she'd look askance at me if not staring right through me, sending those cold vibes. A couple of years after snubbing me in my dreams too, she again 
appeared in a dream, ignoring me as always and doing Tai Chi in my neighbour's house!

Point to be noted, these girls have been snubbing me even in dreams, my dreams. Insult. Tch tch...

Nightmare in Bangalore
By the way, that's not the worst. It's a girl I don't know who insulted me the most in a dream. That disgust-inducing dream... Oh, man. In that dream, I was merrily walking near my room Basavanagudi. A girl who was about 12-13 years old approached me. I vividly remember what she looked like. I'm about 6-feet tall but she was about four inches taller than me! And she had a moustache typical to a young boy. Her moustache was more conspicuous than her height or the eyesore-pink dress. This girl came to me and said with contempt, "Aapko chaddi sukhana nahi aata." (Meaning: "You don't know how to dry an underwear.")

What the hell! This freaked me out, and offended me, even though that was a dream. C'mon, chaddi? What did she mean when she said that? I remember that girl so vividly that I can identify her if she happens to walk by me any day, even without moustache. The next time I go to Brigade Road, MG Road to loiter, I'll be watching out for this weird girl. I'll stop her and seek an explanation. NO! If we indeed happen to cross path, I'll just hide. What if she, in the real life, comes to me and says, with contempt: "Aapko chaddi sukhana nahi aata." What if that happens!

“I stopped looking for a dreamgirl; I just wanted one that wasn't a nightmare.
—Charles Bukowski