February 27, 2015

Bloody phool: More pics from our garden

Who grows potatoes in their kitchen garden! My mom does. We have a lot of vegetables growing in our garden. And some flowers. Ummm... I'm a bit distracted to type much (got my music practice and meditations on mind) so I'll stop writing and post the pics. Will start with flowers. 

Of all the varieties of flowers in our garden. This has to be the one I put above all. 

This pair of flowers screams togetherness. If only people were like this.
These li'l flowers look refreshing.

Now this yellow flower bed. Awesome.

And my undisputed favourite pic of our garden. Just love it!

This thing in background is some rare and exotic plant, I've heard. My mom knows what it's called but I'm too lazy to go into the kitchen and ask its name. But I have one more pic of the plant.

If I end this post with pics of vegetables, it might amount to leaving you with a bad taste in the mouth, given I offered the dessert (the flowers) first. So let me keep one flower picture for the end and bring veggie pictures now. There's not much, though. To start with, here's a snapshot of some of the potatoes we grew in our garden. There was more, but we ate it. Aalu ka parantha :D

This is a bird's eye view of what's growing in one part of the garden. I don't know what's what here. But there's a lot of stuff. Carrots, potatoes, radish, turnip, green leafy vegetables and what not.

And here's a month-old pic of a flower plant, right after it had rained. There's no flower here. Yet. I like how the plants are holding on to water droplets and the droplets are merrily sitting there, cocking a snook at gravity.

After a month or so, the plant gave us this flower. Bloody focus of the phone camera. I just couldn't get it right. The flower looks pretty in person.

Ok. That's it. Tour of our garden ends here. I won't make any effort to hunt for a smart quote to end this blogpost. Dinner is ready. And I don't like thandi rotis. So I'll just post the link of my previous blogpost that had pics of flowers and vegetables growing in our garden. Beautiful flowers' beautiful pics. Done. Going. Bye.

February 25, 2015

I like my sense of humour :)

I perhaps underrate my sense of humour. A dear friend of mine from school sent me an excerpt from an old email of mine, reminding how funny I can be in unassuming manner. She's one of those rare people like me who enjoy reading and writing long emails. Nine-ten years ago, when we were in college, we used to exchange mails regularly. Lonnnnnnggg emails. This para is from one of those mails:

Really bad that you missed the cut-off by just 7 marks. You see, when I was in 8th class I went to Bilaspur to represent our school in 50 metre freestyle (swimming; at regional level sports) and missed the qualifying time for national by just 2 seconds . So I understand what it means to lose by narrow margin. (Though in reality I missed the qualifying time by 20 seconds, but after studying the topic 'significant figures' I don't give any importance to 0s anymore).

Hahahaha... I'm awesome. By the way, I believe I had missed the qualifying time by two seconds. I think I'd included this 'significant figures' theory only for the purpose of amusement. I miss writing long emails. 

I think the longest I wrote had 5,562 words. I'm sure it was never read. I wrote that in my journalism college. And I had such a hard time meeting the 3,000-words requirement of my master's thesis! Years later, it was normal for me to write 2,000/3,000-word-long mails. And how I loved that! Now there's no one to write to! Man, this is not good.

February 13, 2015

Why I'm still single

I'm 27. Most of my friends are either married or about to tie the knot. One even had his first child two months ago. But I am still single. Born single. Pehle main bahut pareshan tha. Meri billi bhi mujhse door bhaag jaati thi. I used to ask, "Why me?" Now I realise why me. Because I'm stupid.

Since relocating to my hometown seven months ago, a college friend (a sweet, lovely, SINGLE girl!!) and I have been planning to meet. To woo her, I should plan a fun outing, right? Right. And where was I planning on taking her, until a few minutes ago? To watch the unintentional comedy film MSG: The Messenger of God. Decided this after reading its reviews online. They sport these headlines:

Watch this only if your survival depends on it (Hindustan Times | Read review)
It's the Pitaji of 'so bad it's good', with crackpot writing, direction and acting  (FirstPost | Read review)

It's rating:
Hindustan Times: 0.5/5 (Given to acknowledge the effort of making the film)
The Indian Express: No stars

Just imagine. After seven years, and first time since I started hitting on her, I'm meeting a pretty girl and I take her to a movie whose hero' has curly arm hair that can trap legions of mosquitoes.

That's suicidal. That's why I've never had a girl. Friend. Girlfriend. (Bolne me hi sharam aati hai :P)

Isspider man, Isspider man
Showing a trashy film to a gal pal, hoping she too will love it (and will get impressed with my choice), is a mistake I've made once. This girl doesn't talk to me now.
Exactly one year ago, on the eve of Valentine's Day, this friend visited my house in Bangalore to chill. (V-Day wasn't the reason.) She's beautiful, charming and warm. And single. And what did I do to ensure she has a good time? Played Desi Spiderman on the laptop. She laughed for a couple of minutes, then the movie bored her to sleep. Even when she started dozing off, I didn't have the smarts to bid goodbye to Ispyder bhaiyya and engage her in a conversation. I let her sleep and relished the entire movie. It must have been the third time I was watching that epic movie.

A month later, this friend suddenly stopped talking to me. We hadn't had any spat. She just stopped. I was wondering why. I think now I know. She took out time for me, and I gave her "Ispyder man, ispyder man, toone churaya mere dil ka chain. Dekh ke tere kartab yaara main toh ho gayi teri fan!"

Over the past few months, this girl has started to look more beautiful and charming than ever. When we were friends, we were just friends. Now I'm drawn to her. But all I can do is rue my lost chances. All because of the stupid Ispyder bhaiyya whose chest logo reads "Kanha Milk".

Teri galiyon me na rakhenge kadam...
My stupidity in the girls' department is legendary. About six years ago, when a friend (girl) snapped ties with me and just won't talk, I sent her an e-mail. It had links of two YouTube videos. One was yesteryear's ballad: "Teri galiyon me na rakhenge kadam... Aaj ke baad". The other was: "Chaahoonga main tujhe saanjh-sawere, phir bhi kabhi ab naam ko tere, awaaz main na doonga." And I wasn't trying to be funny. I was earnestly trying to express my dejection.

My profound moronity embarrasses me. No wonder my luck never shone. And it's highly unlikely to shine. Even if a girl gets interested in me (what a joke!), it's gonna be like this, most probably:
She: "Hey, let's go to this pub some day."
Me: "Ummm... How about somewhere else? I find pubs too loud and dingy."
She: "Ok, let's check out this new fine dine restaurant."
Me: "That must be too expensive. Moreover, I don't prefer eating outside."
She: "That's alrite. Where do you want to go?"
Me: "Any South Indian eatery, like Daya Sagar Darshini. Or Indian Coffee House. I love their masala dosa."
She: "Hahahaha... Let's meet at Cafe Coffee Day."
Me: "Ok, but I won't have anything there. I don't take tea-coffee."
She: "Get lost."

Grammar Nazi
My situation looks bleak. Not only because of my eccentricities, but also because I'm a journalist. A girl who speaks/writes incorrect English, immediately rejected. Only Pakistani cricketers can make bad English look cute (see this). 

“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”
—John Illsey Clarke

P.S. Click here to watch Desi Spiderman on YouTube. You'll love it!

February 09, 2015

These funny Hindi songs will surely crack you up

I just had to put this song on my blog. My band's latest music video, The Legend of Kabootars' Diet. It's a fun track. Totally crazy. Two grown men debating if pigeons eat pistachio shells. Hmmm... Too much sophistication in English. Maza nahi aaya. Kya kabootar piste ke chhilke khaate hain? Is gambheer masle pe vaad-vivaad karte hue do yuvaon ki kahani hai The Legend of Kabootars' Diet.

Do check out the song and share it with your friends and family. It deserves wide recognition. I dare say, even though it has been viewed less than 250 times by now, I dare say it will become a monster hit someday soon. Mark my words. It will.

Hmmm... While we're at it, let me share another fun track by my band. The Duckface Theme Song :P 

Made on the tune of Duck Tales, this one is hilarious. Yeah, I wrote the lyrics. Avinash (friend, bandmate) programmed the music brilliantly right from the scratch. The result is this superrrrrr fun track. Wondering why this hasn't gone viral yet. It will, it will. I know it will. It has to. Check it out. These songs are funny!