March 10, 2017

Three dreams and a tip for great sleep

Dream no. 1: The recurring nightmare
I don't understand. Why do I still get those nightmares about my 12th board exams! It was exactly 12 years ago that my batch had its final board exams. The exams never scared me then, why should they now!

Granted, I had failed in four out of five subjects in the first pre-board, and had failed in physics in every single exam (in all the unit tests and pre-boards, except the unit test where I availed of chits, and my last-row seat), never ever was I worried even then. I was failing, so what! It was only because I'd never study, since I loathed the subjects. I never wanted to study science at +2 level. My parents had forced me into it ("Take science, or you'll be kicked out of this home.")

Now, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. And then I'm said to be a jackass. I never do something I don't like. So I never studied, until the day before the exam. And that was enough to secure passing marks. I was never worried. OK, I was worried for a few minutes the day before the physics pre-board, which was on March 1. But that's that. Once I pulled my hitherto untouched book out of the plastic cover it had been wrapped in for a full year, I was amazed at how easy it all was! Once I was in the zone, I could merrily grasp every concept, every phenomenon that was gobbledygook to me until then. Within half an hour of beginning the 11th hour preparation, I was sure passing the exams will be a cakewalk. 

And pass I did. My parents were in disbelief when CBSE declared the result. They were jubilant and surprised that I had passed.  I wasn't. I knew I'd pass the moment the question papers were handed to me.

The point is, the board exams never scared me then. But in the form of nightmare, they haven't stopped bugging me even more than a decade later. It's my most recurrent dream. The only recurrent dream, actually. Board exams are approaching, I'm blank and scared to the bones. Those dreams feel real. I feel like I'm right there in the moment. I experience that dread, that agony and that nervousness. I sense the strong undercurrents of frustration (at having to opt science) and helplessness (for being pushed into opting science). The anxiety feels so real! The entire scene seems so real! Whenever I get such a dream, I wake up feeling nervous.

Thank God it's just a dream. I just fail to understand how a happy-go-lucky person like me is attracting this recurring dream. Going by my state of mind, I should be having WWE superstars and Govinda in my dreams.

[Read previous post about the nightmare, written six years ago.]

Dream no. 2: Networking for an investigative story
Now that I'm at it, let me also mention the dream I had the night before. Chhattisgarh's first chief minister, Ajit Jogi, had made a guest appearance! We were having a jolly conversation. I was demonstrating my half-baked knowledge of the Chhattisgarhi dialect with elan and he was downright amused and impressed! As I had his full attention, I told him I was planning to do a story on Balco's affairs (the aluminium factory in Chhattisgarh, where my dad worked and in whose residential township I grew up) and I'd need his quotes. 

FYI, Balco used to be a central government company, but was privatised in 2001. Ajit Jogi was the chief minister of Chhattisgarh then and had lent massive support to workers' two-month-long strike opposing the decision to privatise.

Yesterday I woke up feeling pretty cool, that even in dream the journalist in me is at work, developing contacts for a story. I just recalled, in my journalism college, our vice-dean used to reiterate that we ought to be so consumed by story ideas that they should be on our mind even when are eating and sleeping. Finally, I got there! Finally! Now I feel better!

Dream no. 3: Rockstar
Now this is a dream that I see with my eyes wide open, every waking hour. It's a dream I nurture and am committed to turning into reality. It's the dream of becoming the rockstar I'm vying to be. We're ready, just have to figure out how to start landing paid gigs. Efforts are under way. They will yield result soon. 

I can go on and on about this dream, but I'd rather go pursue it right now. That's more important. Practice beckons. After all, practice makes a rockstar perfect. Or less imperfect.

The tip for great sleep
Oh, there are way too many mosquitoes here. Mosquito repellent stuff too is proving to be impotent. At best, they merely knock mosquitoes unconscious for some time. A couple of hours later, mosquitoes regain consciousness and resume their bloodsucking routine. So, for a good sleep, I'd recommend getting a mosquito net. It's barely been four days since I started sleeping under one and am having such a sound sleep that I feel super happy, and rested, upon waking up. It's such a welcome change from the mosquito-swatting sleeping I was having all these past months. Whoever invented mosquito net, thank you!