December 28, 2012

More on doomsday, my birthday

So, the world did not end. Although it means my entire future planning came down crashing, there is a positive side too to the world not ending. Let me make a list:
1. I will live through enough end-of-the-season sales to buy everything I want to.
2. Quite possibly, and probably, I will reach the stage where I won't need to wait for these sales to buy what I want to.
3. I will live long enough to convince myself to wear all the two dozen t-shirts and jackets I've bought over the past three-four years but haven't worn yet because I don't want to spoil their look. (Yeah, I'm weird. I know.)
4. I won't die single. (All my close friends seriously doubt this)
5. I have time to regain six-pack abs and pack in some muscle. Enough of looking like a pickpocket.
6. I always wanted to go beyond the green belt in Taekwondo I had earned in class VIII. Want to be a martial art expert, most probably Taekwondo. I think I'll go for it—black belt, baby. 
7. Just enough time to hone my guitaring skills and vocal chords to be the rockstar I was born to be.
8. All my crushes who turned me down (I asked out only a couple of them) will bang their head against the wall when they see me on billboards, TV, album covers, in all the lists of most eligible bachelors. I'll be smug inside. Success is the best revenge.
9. There's still hope that maybe, some lucky day, I'll get to meet Bipasha Basu. Man, I love her... 

I'm sure there must be more good consequences of the world not ending, but can think of only these ones now. And, I have more to share about my this birthday. This interesting chat I had with a close friend made my day. We started chatting online about 8 pm on my b'day. She didn't remember it was my b'day. Ten minutes after my b'day became a past date of the calendar, I asked her if she had called me. Here's the conversation that followed, for your entertainment:

Me: Btw, had you called me today?
She: nahi kia tha maine
Me: 25 December was my birthday

[I immediately logged out after this and the poor girl sent a string of messages in the next two minutes.]

She:oh fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
She: happppy birthday................
She: i rememberrrrrrrred
She: fuckkk
She: i remembered till 17th i swear//
She: behanchod i am
She: listen i am sorrrrrrry
She: talk to meeeeeeee
She: plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
She: i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
She: helllo
She: happpy belted bday
She: omg omg omg
She: sorry baby
She: I am sorry.. i am an ass.. but i really love you.. i did not remember your bday at all.. cya
She: hope you had fun..
She: and i am sorry

[After one-and-a-half hour]

: sorrry

[After 18 hours]

She: listen.. talk to me..
She: fuck u
She: why arent u saying 

Hahahaha... First she abuses herself for forgetting, then she abuses me for not responding! This girl, this friend of mine, is an amazing person. Arguably, the most talented person I personally know. The persistence with which the poor thing tried to make nice and apologise... Wow! Who won't love that much attention! And, nobody has ever said "I love you" to me with so many "u"s. She can be forgiven for forgetting, for she has bought a dhin-chaik phone for me a couple of months ago. Also, she can be forgiven because my b'day fell just six days before her wedding.

And you thought we had something going on, eh?

December 25, 2012

No doomsday, so happy b'day to me

I was one of those who believed—or rather knew—that the world as we know it would come to an end on December 21, 2012. I had read some New Age literature, which said that on December 21, the earth would stop spinning on its axis, would resume spinning after three days, and that too in the opposite direction. On December 21, the sun would disappear and come back only after three days. The earth's magnetic poles would reverse and solar flares would irreversibly, completely damage all satellites. It said December 21 was to be the end of the world as we know it. 

Money, property, relations, career... Everything was to become irrelevant. Only those who had evolved were to survive Dec 21 and were to ascend to fourth dimension. I thought that if I evolve, nothing like that. And if I was to be wiped off the face of this earth, that too ended all worries. It was about two years ago that I had read that 100-page booklet, and believed it all.

I was relaxed. Either of the two possibilities Dec 21 offered—evolution and destruction—meant I did not have to worry. My only concern was to evolve spiritually. I get paid peanuts, have no social life, have lost some hair and a lot of weight, but none of it bothered me. For, none of it was to matter after Dec 21.

World's not doomed. I am

Alas, the 'doomsday' has come and gone but the world is intact. And boy, I am a bit disappointed. Now, I need to do something about my low pay, no life, no wife and a lot of things. I did not mind dying as a young underachiever, but I certainly do mind living as one. Have so much to do!

In fact, it was only because I firmly believed in this 'world's totally gonna change' theory that I had said "yes" to my friend when he asked me one-and-a-half years ago if I wanted to start a band.  Launching the band meant we'd be touring most of the time, which meant I'd have to give up my full-time job as a journalist. I thought that if job, money and everything was going to become irrelevant after Dec 21, why not spend the last days pursuing a hobby I'm passionate about! If I knew the world's not gonna change, I'd have thought long and hard about this music thing before committing. Now that I have given my word, I can't ditch my friend. But there's quite a lot of uncertainty. I don't know much about music's nuances and my friend/bandmate has to spoon-feed me. Is this the field I will always be in? What should be the wise thing to do career-wise?

Hard decisions
I have 
a lot of thinking to do. Need to give up the happy-go-lucky attitude. I remember vividly, a year-and-a-half ago I was telling my colleagues that the world would come to an end four days before my 25th birthday. Sincerely speaking, I never thought about future. Because there was to be no future we could plan for. That's what I believed. Just how many lucrative job offers I have turned down, committing myself to a field in which I'm a novice, at best! Sachin Tendulkar had hit his 25th ODI century on his 25th birthday. I was 11/12 years old then and was super impressed. "What a way to ring in 25th birthday," I had thought. I'm 25 and earn less than Rs25,000.

Hemant Gairola, a 25-year-old nobody. Tch tch... When Hemant Gairola was young, nobody must have thought that I'd be a nobody. I used to be the undisputed topper (only till class VI-VII, as being attentive in class was enough for me to secure rank 1; I never studied at home). In co-curricular activities, I was quite something. My claim to fame is my childhood. Haven't done anything spectacular lately. That's not how my life should be. 

And, that's not how it will be. I'm not gonna make any tall claims here. I'm not going to write a blog post about silly resolutions on New Year. I've spent/wasted way too much time being silly. High time I become something. I need to change. I have to be more responsible. For, the world will go on, it seems.

Genuine concerns

Given my disciplined lifestyle, I'll live really long. So I need to arrange for that. I need to have enough money for my children's dry-fit diapers, school fees, uniform etc. Oh, how will children come into existence until I marry! And who will marry me until I get rich! Oh my God, biwi-bachche, too much responsibility. And I thought wisdom teeth were the worst part of growing up.

Oh yeah, but happy birthday to me :)