November 05, 2012

My super-infested room

My friend with whom I live here in Bangalore (a guy, FYI) has got a mobile phone with a nice, 5 megapixel camera. I'm glad he has got that, for, now I can tell you stories I couldn't have told you otherwise. Even I owned a camera phone for a short while (it got stolen) and have shot manyyy candid pics and videos. Oh, I love my collection. The point is, it's good to have a camera.

Today, I want to take you to the place I live. Actually, there is something particular about where I live that I want to show you. So, let the games begin...

A colony of cockroaches was breeding under a small stone slab kept near the sink. I was like, "Eeeekss!" Next picture. So, you see, I'm not complaining about a cockroach in my room. I'm talking about the entire clan of the cockroachdom. It's too much, even for a loving and accommodating guy like me.

This is the view of a baby lizard and a cockroach that died a premature death when I, or my friend, closed the kitchen door. The cockroach's body has almost decomposed/fed ants, but the lizard's body is still stuck there. Been a month or more, I guess. I find it too yucky to scrape it out.

It was this cockroach whose death evoked sympathy in me. This dude's leg got crushed when I or my friend closed the door. Think of it, his leg was squashed, but he was alive. What's even worse is that he couldn't move; his leg was stuck, it was not severed. He kept trying to get away for about a couple of days and then, alas, he died. RIP, dear friend. I really feel sorry for you. I couldn't make up my mind—should I severe his leg and set him free or should I crush him and relieve him from pain forever? Before I could decide, he passed away. I really felt sorry.

After seeing the following picture combo, maybe you'll understand why I declared a war against the cockroaches.

Yeah, the biggest picture is of a small, caterpillar-ish worm that was inside a french bean. I noticed it floating on water in the cooker, just before I was about to close the lid and start cooking. Phew! Got saved in nick of time. The next picture, of a cockroach floating in my cooker... GRRR! That was the one that pushed me over the edge. That cockroach was in the packet of red chilli powder. When I sought to sprinkle some chilli powder into the cooker, the cockroach tumbled out. That did it and I decided to annihilate the entire cockroach species in my room.

What happened next was captured on video. There is a small enclosure kind of thing near the sink in the kitchen, cockroaches' haven. When I return to my room after work at night and open the kitchen's door, they'll be there, gorging on my tomatoes, bananas and what not. Nobody steals my food and goes scot free. Beware the fury of a patient man. After seeing too many cockroaches all around, I put some sheets of a newspaper in that enclosure and set them afire. The idea was to suffocate them so that they come out from there and then I was to toss them outta my kitchen. However, looked like I put way too many papers and the cockroaches got burnt. But I don't feel the least bit guilty about it. I didn't object to them living in my room without paying any rent, but I can't tolerate them eating my food. Without my permission. Not that I'd have permitted them had they asked. So, some cockroaches got burnt unintentionally. You could tell some got burnt from the smell. One lucky chap emerged outside, alive. I called my friend. He beat up that cockroach with his slipper. But we were not done. We thought that maybe there are some more cockroaches who are out and maybe they would return later. To send them a message, we took the carcass of that slippered cockroach, put it on a note and put the entire thing in the cockroach's 'home'. Here's how it looked:
Wuhuhahahahaha... (my 'sister' taught me this 'devilish laugh'). Ever since we left this warning note with poor Mr Roach's body in the Roach colony, I haven't come across another cockroach in my kitchen. The plan worked. Offence is the best defence. Survival of the fittest, baby.

Yeah, there still are small cockroaches in my kitchen. Yesterday I found one in the packet of daal and today saw half a dozen of them in the rack where I keep utensils. But I think they haven't left the kitchen because they are too young and can't yet read, maybe that's why they couldn't make out what's written on the warning note. I hope they get lost from my kitchen soon, otherwise I'll have to unleash my fury again.

And if you think cockroaches and lizards are all I have to deal with, you are so wrong. We have shot a video of how a pigeon entered our room last week and patiently stood outside the toilet, which was occupied, for some time. As the person inside the toilet took his own sweet time to come out, the pigeon shit on my friend's white bedsheet, among other places in our room. That's not all. Moreover, pigeons don't just rest on the window pane of our room (it's on third floor), they often enter our room! Just because I feed them rice grains, they are taking such liberties! Seeking to use our toilet, wanting to rest under fan on a hot day. 

And I don't know if I should talk about our suspicion that a snake has died in the drain pipe of our kitchen sink. We are not sure, so I won't speak of it.

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