May 11, 2015

I was born to be a journalist

How old were you when you tendered your first resignation? Your early 20s? I was nine when I proffered mine. I happen to have a copy of it. Read on. Try not to judge me.

"tention", "jailer". Nice. The sheer frustration that's jumping off the paper indicates how awfully awesome I must have been at making a mountain out of a molehill. I had realised more than a decade ago that I was an obnoxious kid, this resignation letter just confirmed it.

By the way, to this day, I employ (dumb) analogies and metaphors to explain my arguments. Until I stumbled upon my 'resignation' letter, I used to think I picked up these tools when I was striving to improve my English. Now I know better. I was born this way! 

Me at it again
Well, that letter came about when I was in class V. Two years later, the school had pissed me off again. So I shot off another letter. And it's a genuine grievance. I so loathed it when it'd happen.

I didn't need to finish that letter. One day, when the princi(pal) was on rounds, I jumped right in front of him and poured my heart out, to which he just laughed and asked me to go back to my class. That was three much (pun intended).

But, I had raised a genuine issue. Half-yearly exams of class VII. My downward spiral in studies (which became a free fall only in class XI) had not yet begun. Every single mark mattered. I had voluntarily got my two marks deducted in science. From 93, I came down to 91. Was being honest despite the race to the top. And when my female competitors went to get their marks cut, they were told it would be effin adjusted in annual exams! What the hell is that! Biased teacher. Unfair. Boys were being discriminated against.

Unrelated rant
And girls of my class were such phony, backbiting creatures. Ahh... They'd report to our beastly sports teachers almost every time we'd bunk classes and play cricket. All of 11-12 years, but so sadistic. That's how I started hating girls and swore not to talk to those lowly creatures.

Since then, I've had only my boys for company, and we totally rock it! Band of brothers. Ok ok. I concede. One side-effect of choosing not to talk to girls was that I don't quite know yet how to talk to girls. That's why no girlfriend. I don't know what to say after "Nice pic". 

Sorry, drifting off. Yeah, the point is... I wonder how I grew up into a hardcore feminist despite having such pathetic girls as my classmates till the age of 17!

Back on track. More narcissistic anecdotes
Sorry. The actual point was, I always had that journalism-thingy in me. Whenever I was pissed off, I wrote. Captaincy became a burden? Write to principal. Teachers guilty of partiality? Write to principal. Unconsciously though, I believed in the power of the pen. I always had that anti-authority thing in me.

Ahead of the half-yearly exams when we were in class VI, our sadistic class teacher instructed us to stay put in the classroom and study in the games period. Why the hell would we do that! How could she take away our coveted games period! Boys of my class were apprehensive of defying her diktat. I charged them up (was always a leader) and we all had a ball. Literally and figuratively. 

(Yeah, the dumbass girls reported this too to the class teacher, who was then fuming. Called me a rotten fish that spoils the whole pond. But did I care? Ha! Do I ever care!)

I can narrate n number of such anecdotes. I always had it in me. Netagiri ka keeda. When 'wronged', others would whine, but I'd do something about it. 

S***! This netagiri ka keeda has made me do some stupid things too. When we were in class VII, I had taken a complaint against a guy three years my senior to the principal. What plaint? He was hitting on a girl of my class. Making advances, stalking her. She was scared (or so my friends told me). I reported it to the princi, who referred the matter to the sports teacher, who then beat that guy black and blue.

Five years later, we were class XII students. My friend who had accompanied me to the principal was now himself in love with a junior. So was I. Hehe... We'd bunk our physics lab period together, go to the first floor lavatory and let out cold sighs while drooling upon our love interests, who had their games period that very hour. They'd be playing volleyball/kho-kho or something stupid. The point is, as time had turned the tables on us, we realised how we were wrong in telling on our senior. (Sorry, buddy. We regret that.)

That was one occasion where my zealous side... Ok. Nobody is reading the blog. (And it's getting scarily rhetorical!!) Let me just end it here :P

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