IIJNM — Looking back

The beginning
“I feel like a fish in the water,” I proclaimed at home on phone after my first day here.

Just a couple of months before joining IIJNM, I was so clueless about my future: law, army, management, journalism… Had applied everywhere and just didn’t know what I really wanted. But the first day at my journalism college was enough to affirm I had made the right decision.

“Be a shark in the water,” came the prompt suggestion from home. Yeah, shark is so much cooler, I thought.

Social life screwed?
I was disappointed upon learning that I had only 54 other faces (and only two dozen girls) to see in the last year of my college life. That the college was situated in no-man’s land on the outskirts of the city didn’t help the situation at all. “Man, my social life is screwed,” I thought. I saw my already slim chances of falling in love here vanishing.

Life in general
If the initial hiccups may be ignored—when I used to stammer and fumble while talking to girls (out of obvious nervousness)—it was a fairytale beginning. I liked everything: my teachers, batchmates, roommates, classes, my computer, food, security guards, mess workers, pink, red hibiscus flowers in hostel… You get it, right? I liked everything and everyone there. I was so grateful and so cheerful! How I used to grin 24/7 out of sheer joy! How any minor thing used to elate me to no limits! Those were the days of delirium.

Academics
I wanted to be a columnist, to raise awareness and generate momentum against the fundamental flaws in our society, viz the flawed education system, corruption at grassroot levels, red tape, discrimination, women empowerment. These were the issues I wanted to write about. Instead we were required here to do news stories. That irritated me.

Have I ever done something when I don’t want to even if I’m required to! And well, my academics suffered. Initially my teachers seemed impressed by my potential and enthusiasm. But as the course (which was not in sync with what I wanted to do) gained momentum, my disapproval (which clearly reflected in my work) of it turned in to faculty’s disapproval of me.

When going gets tough…
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. My grandfather passed away on October 8, the day when our week-long Dushehra break  started. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to do well in reporting, the core course. Was feeling guilty about falling in love (unknowingly) with a close, cherished friend, who then snubbed me, only to augment the troubles. Grief, loneliness, guilt, frustration, helplessness amalgamated into what was the toughest phase of my life.

Had withdrawn from work, food, friends, world. Oh, I had turned into such a loser. Every night used to sleep with a strong headache and wake up with it the next morning.

…the tough get crawling
I had almost quit college after first sem. Thanks to our vice-dean, I was able to come back and finish the course. (sigh) I still can’t fathom how this beautiful dream turned into a nightmare... No day in the second semester was easy. Frustration, helplessness and unanswered calls, unreplied messages and all kept haunting me. All the joy, silly grin, enthusiasm, love for food, popularity was gone. Life was dull, tough.

Softcopy/Solace
The only time I was oblivious to the pain was when I was engrossed in Softcopy, our college’s news website. I still remember the frenzied pace at which I had worked on the first day of daily news bulletin, single-handedly managing to get the multimedia-rich website up and running. The site looked really cool, everyone liked it and appreciated it. However good it was, I cried after completing it, as there still was scope for improvement. That was the only day in IIJNM I felt I had done justice to my potential. Softcopy was my only solace.

I passed!
I was surprised, and pleasantly so, upon learning that I had passed the course! Yes, I was going to get my diploma! I had passed! Big achievement, considering college administration had sent two letters to my home, saying that I was failing the course.

Then came the convocation, and I was looking sooo handsome in that formal cream-coloured shirt and bottle-green trousers! After receiving the diploma I delivered a short, spontaneous, sweet speech! My jokes worked, the audience applauded and I got compliments from fellow students and others for it. Well, delivering speech is something at which I was a veteran even before I was a teenager!

Overall…
I’m highly grateful to God that I came to IIJNM. I maintain that it’s the best place one can go to for serious journalism training. Yes, my story that had a fairytale beginning did turn nightmarish, and I do regret having let down teachers who had faith in me. However, I know the time will come when my teachers will take pride in my achievements. My work will be my atonement.

"Life is not all cakewalk and no baking." — Notes From The Universe

Once upon a time in Dehradun

As the legend goes, not so long ago in Institute of Management Studies (IMS), Dehradun, there was a group of devil-may-care guys, who cared for nothing else but G-I-R-L-S. And one of them was just crrrrazzzzyyyyyyyyyy about them. He had a crush on, say, every other girl. Well in terms of girls, his college was heaven. Even there was strict uniform code (waiter's uniform - white shirt, black pant, blue tie), girls looked fantaaaaaastic. And being the loving guy that he's, he loved all of them.

The window

Sitting with his friends on the window-side seat of his first-floor class, from where every goddamn place in his not-so-big college was visible, he developed a crush on, umm... countless girls. Never mind, if almost every teacher noticed, objected, condemned, ridiculed and punished them for staring outside the window, despite repeated warnings during the class. The particular guy I'm talking about, he was asked to come and give a five-minute presentation on why he looks outside the window all the time. And the truthful guy that he's, the truth he told: "There are so many pretty girls in the college sitting outside, it's hard to concentrate in the class."

Sight of every other damsel used to drive his senses nuts. If one girl's hair impressed him, other girls' eyes won him. (DO NOT think further... He's a gentleman!) He was so loving, that he fell instantly in love with every pretty creature. Name a course, and he'll have a dozen of crushes in each batch.

No discrimination

Love knows no boundaries, and he proved it alrite. Course, batch, height, weight no bar, he loved them all. Curly hair wooed him just as much as straight, permed hair. Girls in high heels won him just as much as girls in flats. He'd sigh a wishful sigh as a feminine girl would pass by, and would be impressed by those tom-boyish girls too. If he liked one particular girl because she was silent and cool and calm and poised, he'd like "loudspeaker" too.

Tall or short, dusky damsels or fair and lovelies, slim or unh.., shy or outgoing, sexy or unsexy, feminine or tomboy, almost every girl appealed to him (given that she had something sort of 'charming.') By the end of his second year at college, there was no pretty girl in his class who didn't have the honour of being his crush. And as new batches came, new girls got their names etched in the roll of honour. Ah, those (countless) lucky ones...

Codename XXX

He knew name of each of them, but to be able to converse about them openly, without letting others have an idea what he's talking about, he assigned nicknames to all of them. And thanks to his great circle of friends, that all these pretty girls got rather wonderful names. His group was always abuzz with few of those names at a time. Oh you wanna know what those names were like? What, Whitewash, Sonia Gandhi, Original, Duplicate, Batakh (Hindi for duck), Button, Shampoo, Patakha in Pink, Kangana, Bomb, Arjun, Model... There were many more, couldn't recall now. Others used to wonder, "what the heck are they talking about!?!," as these reckless boys merrily talked about those pretty girls in their secret terminology.

As long as these guys were in college, these nicknames were pretty famous. And so were the guys! There were at least a thousand love stories involving them. All of them one-sided, though.

The tree

There was a "tree" in that college, just in between of the undergraduate and postgraduate building. These guys used to sit under that tree when class was off. And these guys used to sit under that tree when the class was not off. From there, they used to see "Kangana," that short girl with curly hair and high heels, whose class was on the first floor, just in front of the tree. Kangana always used to sit near the window, noticing these guys. And these guys always used to sit under the tree, noticing Kangana.

"That tree" holds a rather important place in hearts of those guys, as in their farewell they were felicitated for sitting under it. Those guys were pretty infamous among a group of junior girls, there was "romantic hatred." Romance was from guys' side and hatred from girls.

Gone are the days

For these guys every day was Valentine's Day. Especially for the particular guy I'm talking about, he was infamous for falling love at the drop of a hat. Alas, as love was in full swing, their course come to an end, and none of these guys failed. So they moved on to different cities to study further. Hmm... The only subject these guys studied in their college (no prizes for guessing), was girls. Alas, there's no certificate course for excellence in this! So let us say these guys had to go on to pursue higher studies to get a job, as it's time to get serious now.

All are in different cities now, trying to make something out of life. But still when they reunite, they can't help but relive the nostalgia. Oh, when they meet up they still zip and zap through Rajpur Road of Dehradun, looking for girls. They'd roam in tuition hotspots of Dehradun, waiting for girls to come out. ("School girls are the easiest to link up with," says one of them.) They'd go to the crowded Paltan bazaar, stand in front of McDonald's, go window shopping in Vishal Mega Mart. Time can just throw them outta college, but it can't take away from them their instincts.

And yeah, amidst their busy schedule of "bird-watching" in Dehradun, these guys still take time out to go together to "their" college, IMS, and sit under that tree. And girls of that rival group still make faces upon seeing them. These girls can't forget those guys. And those guys can't forget these girls. It's a love-hate relationship.

Cheers to friendship, cheers to life!

Valentine's Day or...

It's Valentine's Day! Just 40 minutes past midnight and a beautiful girl is giving me missed calls; she wants me to call her. In morning, another girl calls me and wishes "Happy Valentine's Day" very enthusiastically. Ten minutes later, my cell buzzes. A very very very charming and sweet girl has wished me happy Valentine's Day.

Ok, it's nice, I love you all. Thank you. But... I mean, that's it! Only my sisters wished me Happy V-Day! First girl who gave me missed call is a second cousin, second girl who called is my sister (real sister, in your terminology) and the third one was next-door neighbour in Balco.

So, was it Valentine's Day or rakshabandhan or bhaidooj, huh! I mean, nothing against you sisters who called, but what's wrong with other girls in the world! Don't they know I'm single and available! I mean, just sisters wishing me on V-day... What a mockery of Valentine's Day! What a tragedy!

Never mind HG, it's alrite. Like your sis messaged you, never mind if you're single yet; tell others that God is busy writing the best love story. Nice message, dear! Thank you :-)

The power of "OM"

Om... I had read that the word "Om" has tremendous power, had read quite a bit. But like my mom had said once, to read and enjoy is one thing, and to feel and experience is another. Today, I felt and experienced.

For those who don't know me, right now I'm doing my post-graduation in journalism. Here, as a part of our course, we have to produce a master's thesis, a research project. I chose the topic "alternative techniques of healing". Among other techniques, I'm including Sanatan Kriya (a modern-day yogic technique). In Bangalore, Dhyaan Foundation is involved in promoting Sanatan Kriya. Today, I went to their centre and practiced the abovesaid yoga technique with them.

It includes practicing ujjai breathing, while simultaneously rotating different joints of body. After all this, it was the time for the audio CD to be played; it was Yogi Ashwini's (he has devised the kriya) directions on what to do and how to do and all. I was lying on my back all this while, in shavasan, as it is called. Towards the end, he said "om" several times.

I don't know how to describe it, it was an experience. You could say, every time he said "om", I felt some energising vibrations (or force or power) entering/passing through my body. And it was very strong vibration. The feeling was, how do I put it, energising, and very refreshing.

And while I was lying down on shavasan, my fingers moved by themselves to form a mudra. Later on, Ruchi, who was conducting the session, said when one is in the state of meditation, the fingers automatically form the mudra suited best to one's body. She told the practitioners that each of the possible different mudras aims at restoring one of the basic five elements of body — earth, fire, water, wind and ether. So whatever our body lacks, it tries to replenish that during Sanatan Kriya by getting into the mudra that facilitates reception of that element.

It was an amazing experience, letting go the control of your body, and observing these never-had-before experiences. Ruchi said that if one is regular at Sanatan Kriya then s/he could notice change in him/herself within as short as two-three days. "Really?" I asked. "Didn't you feel those strong vibrations in the first day itself!" she replied.

Sanatan Kriya is based on guru-shishya parampara. It says, you cannot achieve gyan by reading books or watching CDs, you have to be under guidance of a guru. Yogi Ashwini, who has devised the kriya is guru of all the practitioners, and he leads them further onto the path of spiritual journey. He promises to take your responsibility, all you have to do is to be regular on your part in doing the kriya.

Today was my first day, and the starting day, as I'd say. I'm going to be regular at it, oh yeah. I've also given my name when Ruchi asked for volunteers for training, who could then conduct workshops. Nice start, a good one, I'd say.

A journey of thousand miles starts with a single step, as they say. I've just taken that first step, and hope to cover those thousand miles, and beyond, as efficiently and quickly as possible. I hope to be able to serve mankind in whichever way I could, and also be able to realise my full potential.

Tranquil, silver moonlight

I wish electricity hadn't come back past night. Still two days shy of achieving its full glory and shape, the moon looked darn handsome nonetheless. Oh yeah!

It was 8 pm, and all of a sudden we had power cut. That means hostel lights gone, street lights gone... Basically all lights gone. Usually it irritates, the power cut, but not yesterday. Oh my, oh my, oh my! The whole world looked sooo beautiful last night... Our hostel building, under nothing but the moon light. Cool, soothing, calm moonlight. A soothing, silver ball of light in a dark night. Whoa! It looked terrific, I'm telling you, terrific! What a pleasant atmosphere it was man!

And it's amazing, the same place that sometimes becomes so unbearable that you don't feel like staying there, was looking so serene and peaceful that you didn't feel like going from there! Everything looked sooo peaceful, so quiet, so pleasant, and just so so caaaaalm.

The world looked so beautiful under the silver shower of the moonlight! That is called nature at its best. I was just standing under the heavenly sky, soaking the moonlight, singing romantic song (oh yeah), enjoying the serenity and tranquility... And then electricity came back, street lights lit up, hostel lights lit up, every damn light lit up. And all the beauty was gone. It just made me think, as always, that how in his pursuit of comfort, man is losing out on enjoying the best of the nature.

Oh boy! I'm going to live in a large farmhouse, and there I'd have control upon all the lights for as far as I could see. When not required, I'd turn them off and gaze at the magnificent, star-studded universe, which is shaping my destiny with me.

A beautiful evening

Whoa! It's such a beautiful evening! What's so special about today's evening? Haha, the first point just came to mind — PEACE.... Tranquility... The usual guys in the lab who make a lot of noise are all out. Only three people in the lab now, all working silently... Ah, I feel so relaxed. And outside it's the light blue sky, with that orangish fireball sinking down beyond the horizon. The orange rays on our college building are looking really fantastic today! (I wish they had emoticons in Blogger.com)

Nice, cool breeze is blowing outside... Everything seems so, so... unh peaceful :-) Yeah... Wow.... It's so nice.

Well, objectively, this evening is no different from other evenings. Every day it's kinda same. And at this time there are very few people in the lab. Dunno what's so special then today, I'm liking it, and that's what matters.

Hmm... You know what? I know what's special. "I" am relaxed. There is no worry, no hurry, I'm all peaceful and relaxed, may be that's why I'm able to appreciate the beauty around me — cool breeze right now and starry sky every night. Life is great, and easy! Oh, I love life.

Ok, ok.... Mr. philosopher (you know, I really want to study philosophy and spirituality), get to work and do something worthwhile in life. Get to work!

"Happiness is a state of mind." - Abraham Lincoln

New Year Resolutions

Yes friends, Hemant Gairola with a New Year Resolution list! No talk about how and why I have changed. Let's get to work (ooh, sounds impressive!):

1. Don't pro... WAIT!!

Yup, resolution no. 1 is say only positive words. If there is something you don't want, don't think, speak or write about it. Instead, think, speak and write only about the opposite of what you don't want. Such as "I don't want to be alone" should be written as I always want to be with friends, having a hell lot of fun. ALWAYS SPEAK IN AFFIRMATIVE, AND AFFIRMATIVE ONLY.

2. DO ALL YOUR WORK ON TIME

First things first. Stephen Covey also says this. Was it the first or second habit? Nonetheless, it's very important. What can be done today, should be done today. Life is so much easy and relaxed when you're with, or ahead of schedule. Now onwards, finish the assignments that you get on the very same day.

Btw, what's the bloody excuse that you're putting up your resolution list after a fortnight of new year's eve? Umm... Let it go, it's a matter of past. Let's move on, buddy!! ;-)

(It's amazing, how I'm tempted to use negative words, as I think only they would effectively convey the meaning of what I'm trying to say. Self-restraint is hard, but not for someone with iron will.)

3. MAKE YOUR FOCUS LASER SHARP

Hemant Gairola, let's take only a couple of things. I want to be a rockstar, a supermodel, gold medal winner, top-class orator and so many things at the same time. The best way to be all is to pick one thing at a time. Let me set my priority then. As long as I'm in IIJNM, I will work on my written and spoken English.

• Improve your langauge: I want to have flawless English. My every writing should be a case study. Every word I speak should be precise and apt.
  
• Give your heart to your master's project and monthly assignments.
• Excel in your electives. Give your best to all the assignments you like. Try even more on assignments that bore you.
• Study like hell about the Law of Attraction.

4. WORK ON YOUR PERSONALITY

So Hemant Gairola, you have decided to grow up, eh, after your 21st birthday! Better late than never, buddy. There are somethings about you that you should never change, even if they are very stupid; you can't stop being yourself! Yeah, get over your weaknesses. Hmmm... I think you've already made major improvement in this area. Keep working on your strengths, man. You're truly a gem.

5. SPEAK SLOOOWWLLYYY

No need to rush... Despite what you think, people are not in a hurry and would like it better when you speak slowly. You have wonderful ideas, speak slowly and clearly, let the world know!

6. BE HAPPY

Hehe... Do I need explain that? I know I'm going to be happy no matter what. Life is going great guns. So far 2009 has been an amazing year, and I hope it continues to be so. I'm expecting even more pleasant surprises, beyond my wildest dreams. Woo!! Universe, drive me nuts, baby. Make me materialise at lightening speed...

7. SPREAD HAPPINESS

Yeah, this one is same as the previous point. How can you be ever happy without spreading it around? What you give, comes back hundredfold to you. So to get happiness, give happiness.

Hmm... Pretty practical list. Wow, I'm really maturing! Good. Now that I've written my resolutions, let me also put up my wish list. What I've written above, is telling Universe what I'm going to do. Below, I'm going to write what I want Universe to do for me. After my resolution list, it's time for my wish list. Wooo!! I love creating wish-list.

Just quoting Joe Vitale from The Secret to make my wishes come true even faster: "You can have, do or be whatever you want." Now paraphrasing him: The whole Universe is like your catalogue. It's crazy, you can say I want to have this thing, I want to have that experience, I want to have that kind of person in my life. It's like you just place your order and sit and relax till it comes.

Wow! Now my wish-list:

1. LOVE

What a feeling love is. Life is great, make it greater. I want my friends to love me more, I want to love them more. I want more friends to love more. Let the wounded relations be healed and be stronger than ever. Let there be trust and love between me and all my friends.

Affirmation: I'm a wonderful person who certainly deserves love and trust of all the wonderful people whom I consider friend. All my friends love me, now everything's alrite :-)

2. SUCCESS

Make me successful in everything I do. Make sure I attempt only the right thing.

Affirmation: I'm doing only the right thing. Everything I do, I do it with perfection. I'm a winner. (Woooo!!)

3. MONEY

Show me the money. Show me the money. Show me the mmmoonnneeeeyyyyyyyy...!! Wooohoooo!!

Affirmation: I'm open to money-making ideas. I have great ideas entering my mind. There is more money being printed for me right now. Oh yeah!

4. PEACE

Importance of peace in life can't be over-emphasized. I wish to become a master at meditation and materialising. Let peace be there in my life so that I can spread it in others' lives as well.

Affirmation: My mind is at peace. God cares for me. I'm at peace.

Hmmm... Love, success, money, peace... What else could one want! I just asked, anyways I know I'm on the right track. Oh yeah! One more thing, make me more mature, yeah!

Feels great na, Hemant Gairola, when there's no anxiety, no desperation, cuz you know you'll get what you've asked for!


“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.” — Bill Vaughan

Whoa! I turned 21..!?!!

Ugh... I'm sorry, I'm bit confused. 21 years. That is two decades plus one year. Can't believe it, I've spent this much time on this planet earth! Twenty-one years is not a joke! Growing old is alrite, but when will I grow up??

Three years ago, I legally became an adult as per constitution of India. Wait a minute! How can I be an adult, if I haven't watched any adult film yet! And today, as I turn 21, the constitution holds that I'm allowed to marry now. But wait, I haven't had a sinnnnngle girlfriend till now in my life! Just years are passing by, I'm getting older, but when will I grow up!!

I strictly disapprove smoking and drinking. I don't even take carbonated drinks, only milk or fruit juices. I just hate going to disco, had been there just once when an idiot friend forced. I don't use abusive language... How boring, one may say. I'm still a kiddo, yaar!

I've always believed that I haven't really grown past the age of 15-16. I guess I'm a bit immature, and highly vulnerable emotionally, my world still revolves around my friends. Hmm... Seems like I'm still in the high-school mode.

Anyways, when clean-shaven, I really look like a teenager; anyways, I don't even look like I'm, ugh, 21 now! Man, it took me so long to come to terms with the fact (after my 20th b'day, last year) that I'm no more a teenager. Now how do I tell myself that now I'm a youth!! Damn, age is just a number, I'm just a 21-years-old teenager.
 
Yeah, BA had also said (sang, actually) that age's just a number, it's how you feel inside (18 till I die, anyone?). Yeah, I love to be 15-year-old. Or 16 at most. Not more than that. Ew! I was in love for the first time when I was 17. Oh, that first love...
 
Ugh! It's still hard to believe that I'm 21 now — a young, responsible, person. Let's see what I can do about it.
 
How I Celebrated My 21st Birthday 

Will start from the scratch. The series of birthday wishes started on 24th morning at around 7:15 am, when guess who called! Pooja called!! My angel, my baby, my darling sister Pooja called me from Sydney :-) Wow! I heard her voice after almost six months. Awww... Love you, sis...

Oh sorry. Yeah, after Pooja, I started getting advance wishes on 24th night by 9pm itself! Priyam (second cousin) thought she was first to wish me, when actually she was fourth. Shivangi (friend from IMS) thought she's first, and she was eighth. Sorry, I understand this much statistics ain't required. Got calls and messages from all friends. Some idiots forgot, or didn't care to wish, I'll deal with y'all!

Had mooli ke paranthe for breakfast. As I was getting late, I just ate two rolled paranthe in hurry, before gulping my jug of milk. Then I headed for Mussoorie, with bhai. Not to just chill around, but to attend the reception at Dr. Mulkraj Dass's house, where we go for treatment. I go for treatment of heartache ;-)  Had nice lunch there, though I wish I had more of that wonderful cake!! And Sailee, I ate one Dairy Milk there! Yeah, I was back at home by around 4pm, then ate a samosa (tasty!) that chachaji had brought. Then I ordered for a Domino's Cheese Burst Pizza. Damn! I've just eaten it, but my mouth started watering the moment I wrote about it. Ok, come back, you hupsy. We ate that (mouth watering again... HELP!) pizza. By "we," I mean my two cousins, my sister and I. That one pizza was like the blood that we sharks had smelled. So immediately after eating our first pizza, we ordered two more pizzas! Oh yeah! The moment our second order arrived, we wolfed it down, after fighting amongst ourselves for larger pieces.

Yeah, everyone cuts cake, I cut pizzas this birthday! Ok, when chachaji and bhai log went, I changed into sleepwear. Then Aman (a great buddy from college) called and asked to meet up, so that we can do awaragardi like we used to do earlier. Went on bike with him, looked at girls (all were in pairs, were those boys their brothers?), ate momo. EEEHH! I didn't know it was non-veg momo that he had ordered!! It wasn't good, anyway. Then we went to Ellora's and I ate a pine-apple pastry and he ate, what is it called, dart/tard? Oh yeah, I just luvvvvvd the pastry. I love pine-apple pastry anyway. Why my mouth is salivating like anything as I mention it? Yup, then we went to McDonald's. Aman was hesitating to go there first, 'cuz his beard was all messed up today (a different tale, won't tell you) and he didn't want to look ugly in front of all those beautiful girls we anticipated to be at McD. We ordered a Happy Meal (and he took the toy), but there was no beautiful girl over there :-( Then I dropped him at where he's staying right now and said goodbye after chatting a bit about our response to heartaches (every lover has had it, seems).

Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you, I liked the pastry so much that I had the guy pack four more for me. Mithu (my sister) had said she wanted to eat pastry, and anyways I also wanted to eat one more, so got four pastries packed. After dropping Aman and coming to home, I ate one more pastry!
 
And in total I also got Rs. 1,200 as "blessings." God, keep showering your blessings on me like this! 

What Did I Do Differently This Birthday

Well, I spent money. Hello, "I" spent money that was mine. You know the significance of this only if you're my close friend. I never spend a penny, but today I paid for that Cheese Burst Pizza (yummy), and pastries and McDonald's. Had it been last year, I'd have asked mamma to give money for pizza, after ordering it on phone, but today I chose to pay from what I had with me. I did that, and my heart didn't break when I parted with that green stuff! Likewise, when I went to see Aman, I took that Rs. 500 note with me, 'cuz I wanted to spend casually. And I did buy pastry, McD stuff with "my" money. Earlier my heart would've breaked on the very thought of it.

Another thing I did differently was that I didn't turn off my mobile phone today. On my earlier birthdays, I used to switch off my phone at midnight, or for whole day, as I didn't want to be wished. To be honest, I've never looked forward to my birthday, because of rather unpleasant past birthdays. My orkut tagline said, "Happy Birthday To Me".
 
Trivia

I had stopped celebrating my birthday very early in childhood (after class 2) as I was sick of getting only sketchpens and those with-best-wishes envelopes, which never had anything more than Rs. 21. Why couldn't people think of anything other than sketchpens, someone tell me, for God's sake! I get crazy when I think about it...

Ok, if you've read my other posts as well then you know that when I get into flair I can just go and on, and I suppose this is what's happening even now. So to not to waste any more time, I must end this post here and say Happy Birthday To Me once again :-)

And thanks to all the friends who wished me. Thaaaankkssssa lot :-) I wish the heartache-friend had wished too. It's alrite, I forgive you. There's always a next time ;-)

“I'm lost in the middle of my birthday. I want my friends, their touch with the earth's last love. I will take life's final offering, I will take the last human blessing.” — Rabindranath Tagore

My castles in the air

Just five minutes and the lab closes.. I'd hurry. This post is about other things I'd like to do in life. I'd write very briefly:

1. Modelling: Haha! Yes, modelling. I know I'm very thin, and have been nicknamed ostrich (lol!). But I hope they wouldn't mind having a good looking ostrich on ramp! Just how handsome I used to look in second year of college, when I had loooonnnnng hair.. Hehe... And I had really done some hard work in gym in first five months of this year. I had a nice body before gym went out of schedule. I'm a good looking guy. Yeah, someday, sooner rather than later, I'll walk ramp, to a loud applause.

2. Taekwondo: Oh yeah, the last time I donned the uniform, it was in class 8th. But the passion isn't lost. I know even when in Dehradun, I wanted to restart it. And even now, I want to do it. Haha, at one point of time, after graduation I was really thinking if parents would let me go to South Korea to enrol in a taekwondo course for four years. Hehe.. I'd certainly like to get black belt and win a couple of tournaments.

3. Rock star: Haha, the biggest and wildest dream perhaps. I know this is not difficult. I just need to practice consistently with guitar. But yeah, I need to work hard with my vocal chords. But I know I'm a good singer, as I've proved (after a lot of hard work) in the past. I love this rock star feeling!!

4. Break dancer: Haha, why not! With a little practice, I think I can do it. I can still do it, even right now, but not as perfectly as I'd like to be. I think I'm good at dancing, but would like to be better at it. Someday I'll do that too. I'll dance on stage, to a loud applause.
Ok, these are the burning desires. Would write about others later. Five minutes over!

**** Continuing a day later

5. Drummer: I remember clearly, I was in class 6th, when this madness of having my own drum set took over me. I really wanted to be a drummer. But in a small town like Balco there was no scope for it. It's been nine years since then. And I still want to be a drummer. The guy who taught me guitar said learning drums is so easy that one can learn it in a couple of weeks. Surely, I'd learn how to play drums.
 
6. Pianist: Oh man, I don't know anything about notes and all that musical language, how'd I play a piano! Haha, but I want to play piano. Had I not been into guitar, I'd have given my unbiased opinion that a piano gives the most melodious sound, given you know how to play it ;-)

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” — Henry David Thoreau

Thank you, Brent Hurd

Dear sir,

Wanted to thank you for all the strength and support you’d given me, when I needed it the most. I hadn’t been doing well in studies, you found out, and spoke to me about it, as a friend would. You told me you had great expectations from me (and got me pushing harder to meet them). You told me I could do it, you instilled faith in me. Every once in a while you’d stop by and ask me how things were going. You cared, sir. You made me feel important. Want to thank you a ton for all of this, for lifting my spirit when I was down.

You cared for all your students likewise. You treated them with love and respect. You came across as a very understanding person, to whom any of us could come and talk about anything, anytime. Your gentle smile on your kind face always welcomed us. Even during lunch and dinner time you’d invite students to discuss their academics with you. 

We look up to you for your dedication and devotion to the profession, sir. You always worked harder than any of us here, and that always pushed us harder to meet your standards. And that is what you believe in, being the example to follow. Isn’t it! I remember how, when we were talking about positive thinking and its results, you’d said that we must not preach, rather we must “be the example for others to follow.” You were the one who walked the talk in every sense. 

And just how much each one of us loved your charming, sweet and affable nature! You always cared to say a quick “How’re you doing?” and greet everyone as you hurried by (and you always hurried by, whether you were walking by or were on your bike no. 4). And just how much we loved your quick accent!

I have never seen someone with so much patience, poise and politeness. Your simplicity and down to earth nature were your outstanding traits. You were a gentleman in every sense.

Sir, in past four months that we’ve known you, you’ve made a lasting impression on all of us. You were a great teacher, a great friend, a great counsellor. To lift a quote from Red Skelton, I guess the only time you made anyone sad is when you left us. But I know, now you’re with us more than ever. You’re sitting up there in Heaven, and will always guide us even now, as you did before.

Sir, you’ll always be alive in our memories and hearts. And it’s just a matter of time before we go out as journalists and make you proud. And then you can puff up and your chest and tell your fellow angels in heaven, “Hey, these are my students!”

With deep sense of love and gratitude

Yours truly

Hemant

“Our legacy is our integiry” — Brent Hurd  

Random Thoughts

Wow, and for what am I writing this blog entry today? For no great reason at all. Maybe just because it’s been one complete month since I arrived here at IIJNM, to become a journalist. One month over of this 11-month course! So how am I doing? Hmmm… Not bad, good we can say. But am I at my best? NO sir. Why not? Ughh... If any excuse has been devised to justify complacency or reluctance then tell me. I’m still not at my best. Umm… Attribute it to lack of will power too. I want to wake up early in the morning, but cannot. This is my childhood problem. Hehe... But stop it, it’s not funny. Even though I’m not doing bad here, I’m not at my best too. It’s been too long since a potential winner has been the be-all-and-end-all of Hemant Gairola in his academic life. It’s time for a change.

And yeah it’s not just about talking big, I’m going to walk the talk here. I’ve got some great plans here, just need to implement them. It ain’t like I haven’t done anything about them as of yet, just I need to stay more motivated and proactive. Ugh, why did I write "proactive" here when I’m not sure of its exact meaning?? Maybe I’m experimenting.

Anyway, this blog post is not about anything in particular. I’m writing just because I felt like writing. Anyhow, another people in the media lab are punching the keyboard so fiercely, so much noise that I felt like showing how you can type (a lot) faster without producing least noise. Man, who’s typing there soooo harshly!! Forgive your keyboard, plz…

Anything else? Yeah, maybe I’m writing just because my last entry was two weeks ago. I’d like my blog to be active and happening. I hope it becomes popular.

Ok, enough of blabbering, let’s get to work. So what are the things on my mind right now? Academics obviously, and how to excel. Now let me try to answer this question — how to excel (my God, why do you guys punch your keyboard like this, folks!!).

So what are the things I ought to do but don’t really do on a regular basis?
1. Building vocabulary
2. Speed reading thing
3. Reading books (quotes, Chicken Soup)
4. Reading newspaper
5. Doing my other research work about my ideas
6. Social work thing
7. Wanna get better (good) at guitar, singing too
8. Should play basketball every other day
9. Some kind of workout at least
10. Learn Kannada, man
11. Surf the statistics sites
12. Complete assignments at the earliest

And what else?? I’m sure there must be other things too, just not able to recall them. Well it’s not that I had a divine enlightenment today that I’m writing up all these things, these things are always on my mind, just not able to execute them well. But WHY NOT?? That’s the question. Ahh the same old excuse, occasional complacency, reluctance, lack of will power. Hell with it! Now, today onwards, I’m going to… Ah you know what. Going to “walk the talk.” I’m going to push harder. I want to get to my best. I want to see myself at my best. After a long time.

I’m really lucky that I’m at such a great place. Ralph sir is just fantastic! A journalist of such a repute... He’s so dedicated, sincere and just what do I say... dedicated! And it’s not just him, our other faculty members too! Dakshinamurthy sir is one of the founding members of Al-Jazeera English. Lucky to have Nagesh Hegde sir for my electives. Saggere sir owner of Bangalore’s biggest photo agency, Kanchan mam and everyone bring with themselves such a vast experience of quality journalism… Everyone, Brent Hurd, Nikhat mam, Surekha mam… these are all people of great stature, having worked for so long for the best media houses in the industry. I’m blessed to be at this place. Good, that I understand that. But shouldn’t I be pushing myself to the limits to get the very best out of me?

I don’t know who you are, reading my blog but I don’t care if you feel like this is all empty talk. The thing is that, I’m just getting so damn fired up ever since coming here, I want to make it really B-I-G.

Michael Phelps is making record after record at the Olympics. Stories of his heroics splashed all over the newspapers. And what did he say in one of his latest interviews? Dream big. Believe in dreams. Nothing is impossible for human kind. (I’m not putting it under inverted comma because that’s not direct quote.) And what did I read in a newspaper supplement yesterday? “Human consciousness has the potential for immense talents and the purpose of human life is to actualise it.” Man, such things inspire me a lot! You can do, be or have everything you want in life. (Remember ‘The Secret’) Think positive, be happy… Ask and it will be given, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened for you. For, everyone who asks receives, who seeks finds, and who knocks it is opened for him. Comes from The Holy Bible.

Hmm… Likhne ko to ham bahut kuch... Oops! English only. Yeah, I can write just on and on an on... But its... Ok, one more thing...

I had a crush on sooo many girls in IMS, and I was perhaps kind of expecting something while coming to Bangalore. Bangalore girls! I wasn’t really that much excited (irrespective of what you might think, I’m a gentleman) but looking forward to Bangalore girls, nevertheless. Yes, here at IIJNM there are many beautiful girls (though we are only around 60 students here)! But you see, I don’t get that kind of feeling, like we used to have in IMS. I don’t have a crush on anyone here!! Rather I sincerely admire these girls, some because they are so sincere and hardworking, and others simply because they are so simple, sober and nice :-) Maybe it’s also because of change of place. IMS was hell of a place. IIJNM is different. Haha… I’m around a lot of beautiful girls and I don’t have a crush on anyone, rather I respect and admire them (my friends would think I've gone crazy)!! Hey, nothing like respecting women-folk is a strange phenomenon for me. What’s interesting is that I don’t have a crush on anyone!!

Hmmm... Still got three assignments due for tomorrow. Is ‘due for tomorrow’ a correct expression? Don’t know. Please leave a comment to point out grammatical mistakes. Yeah, coming to the point. Just checked the iijnm.org mail, Ralph sir is online, I’m glad he is, for now I’m going to stop blabbering and gonna get back to work. I hope to finish it sooner rather than later.

Arey, looks like I forgot to mention few of my goals and Do’s and Don’ts. Putting them up in random order:
Make your grammar flawless, you fool!
Be more fluent in speaking.
Talk sloowwwly, think fast.
Little more emphasis on workout, yaar (once upon a time, not so long ago, one could notice your bulging biceps)
Read more of that Reverse Dictionary.
Again, complete your assignments asap.
Vocabulary: Everyday use at least five words you learnt, in your blog or mails.
Blogging: And try to blog almost every alternate day, idiot.

Ahh I think I’ve already mentioned all this and am typing here just for the hell of it. Oh yes, forgot the main point, no problem will write it here:
- SAY NO TO ORKUT (will figure out a weekly time for it)
- Yahoo! Mail only once a day (15 minutes before dinner)
- Gotta figure out a perfect schedule for myself pretty soon.
- Ugh… Abe kaam kar (Work, stupid.) Ok, I’m in a great mood, just don’t want to stop typing, so let me first finish my assignments one by one then I’ll take out time for this. Are

****

Hmmm so where's the text gone I had written after 'Are,' the last word in the previous sentence. Agh I had typed out the whole text in MS Word and pasted to here. Have already closed the Word file without saving. No problem, there was never anything significant written under it. Bye bye!!

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be.” — James Allen

It's IMS Again!

Today is the first day of the new academic year in IMS — Institute of Management Studies, Dehradun. My college. Ugh! I never thought I’d address IMS as ‘my college.’ But well, as the things turned out in the end, I miss my college and my peers.

Let’s analyse. What exactly do I miss about being a part of IMS? Undoubtedly, it’s the fun factor that I’m missing. Wow, what a college it was! And what a life we lived… Never bothered to take along a pen or paper, but always made sure before leaving home that the cell phone and the headset were in my pocket. Once in the college, there it was, our balcony seat! Classrooms in IMS are built in theater-style, i.e. staircase type. Ours was the laaast seat (we named it balcony seat). And our balcony seat was just next to the window. Imagine, last seat next to window in second floor classroom, and at such a location from where you could see everyone’s movement in college. From our window we could see the entrance gate of the college, the main building, way to cafeteria, the tree we made famous.. Wow.. How we proudly used to occupy our enviable position on our balcony seat and used to look at those beautiful girls of my college!
 
Man I always said it that no matter wherever you go you’d never find sooo many beautiful girls who happen to be sooo beautiful! Yes folks, IMS Dehradun girls are really beautiful, even in uniform. (We had a waiter-like uniform – white shirt, black pant, blue tie.) I had soooo many crushes. If one went out of sight, another two used to walk in from somewhere. Those two went, another three used to walk in! Wow.. There was beauty all around… I really miss you girls... And I’m sure one particular group will be missing us too! Your first two years in IMS were pretty eventful, thank us dumbos!
 
And studies.. Aha.. Just don’t ask. No one ever gave a damn what the teacher is saying, never noted down anything in class. My friends and I never gave assignments and presentations, never sat for internal exams for more than 10 minutes, hardly sat for external exams for more than two hours. Aptly put by Tufi, that dear tree of ours was our correspondence address in the college. Our default hangout place. The tree under whose shade we used to chill out, listening to silly ringtones and laughing, or me imitating our teachers, or Rohit playing guitar. Yeah, one sir had even complimented me, “Hemant you don’t bring pen and paper but you always bring your guitar!”
 
Then our small walk to DIT canteen, it used to be so colourful, thanks to all those beautiful girls of DIT, and the rule that casual dress was allowed on Wednesday. Man I really like that girl – coin slot, and meri wali. Hehe.. I’m proud of myself that at least I gathered enough courage to dare talk to a girl and tell her that I have a crush on her! Thanks to a female cousin, it wouldn't have been possible had she not suggested that wonderful technique.
 
This article is not going anywhere. And this is not even an article as such, in the real sense. Damn! I’m a journalism student now and am supposed to be mindful of all the nuances of grammar. Yeah that’s true, but ‘this’ article is about IMS, so heck with any rule! In IMS I never did what I was supposed to do! I lived life on my own terms – messed with the director, had some friction with hard-boiled teacher, came sooo close to a fight situation, then solved it tactfully, became Mr. Farewell…!!
 
Man can’t you simply guess I had a fun-filled life, all these past three years. IMS — Institute of Mismanagement Studies actually — was our abode for fun. We used to go to college everyday because it was so much fun! Those beautiful girls, we friends, our gang, our hangouts, the time we spent together… Heck I miss it! And especially today, which marks the beginning of a new session. I wonder how many beautiful girls are there in this batch! Upon seeing them, on how many of them I’d have got a crush? Ah I’m really curious to know yaar. Last year’s batch brought Arjun ( a beautiful girl with boy-cut, thus the masculine name), black beauty, her whole group (all are soooo ……), bomb, my dear Kangana, then many girls whom we hadn’t given any nickname cuz we were very busy with their seniors. Yaar but last year’s batch was also a good one.
 
Sheh…. I miss being there. Arey kuch rutba tha hamara, dhaak thi IMS me. Khair, my stint is over there. Hmmm.. But let me think, I suppose this is the last time I’m writing for IMS. What really bonds us together? Do we love the college? Hell no! We absolutely hate it. We hate the director, that bloody (I won’t say anything but people understand what I want to say), their stupid, good-for-nothing, baseless rules that we never followed, those useless fines we had to give for damage we hadn’t done, that silly pattern of internal marking that drowned most of us, their.. just every damn thing about them. Ugh we hate college administration. We never had any function that gave us a chance to unite and hangout, no sports, nothing. Oh IMS people you are the world’s biggest losers! But hey, if this college is so bad, then why do people miss it?
 
Simply because its poor, irresponsible behaviour never prompted us to study, placed a complacent attitude in us, no one was motivated or enthusiastic. Like I wrote in the previous article, our life at IMS was a three-year picnic. I loved this picnic. I miss that feeling, that casual, complacent, laidback feeling rooted deep down inside us, when we used to stare outside window as the lecturer used to bore us, used to obediently go out of the classroom when told so...

Oh, man, I miss my college 'education' ;-)

“College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night? ” — David Wood

3 years of precious memories: Goodbye IMS

How come! Kal hi to college shuru hua tha yaar… Achhe se yaad hai, 1st of August 2005, our first day at college! It was raining, we were standing in long queues to submit some useless form, silently observing the proceedings around us, trying to get the feel of the place, observing new faces around. Everything was new! The building, the place, the teachers, the peers…

3rd of August: Classes started. Some initial confusion regarding section allotment. We were seated amid strangers, who were soon to become our bestest pals, with whom we were going to spend three most wonderful years of our life! Haha… I feel funny when I recall how we were introducing ourselves to each other in tooti-footi Engilsh! SSHHH… Teacher comes in, first class! And then started the tiresome procedure of coming up and introducing ourselves to the class, one-by-one, in each and every period! The first day got over with just formal introduction.

Studies quickly gained momentum. And so did the bond, the friendship between us. Innocent, young people, just stepped out of the school, out of their home in a different city, for the first time in hostel, alone! Sometimes we used to feel homesick and miss mom and dad, and always found our roommate’s shoulder to cry upon. We started becoming each other’s comforter, sharing deepest of sorrows and stupidest of joys. All this, while unknowingly forging a bond, developing a relation called friendship, which would last forever.

Friendship was in full swing. So was the hostel life, isn’t it guys? Hostel life was F-U-N, to say the least! Oh sure there were seniors, ragging! But hey, that was fun too. No rok-tok, no paabandi… Din-raat fullllll masti! Man you were like king of the world. Raat bhar jaagna, ek doosre ke room me masti maarna, seniors se chhupna…

Lo! Pata hi nahi chala 2 mahine beet gaye, internal exams aa gaye. You sincerely studied hard for the exam, and were pleasantly surprised to discover how damn easy the 10–marks paper was—just two bloody simple questions! Time flew by rather fast… Kab 1st internal se ham 1st semester exam tak pahunch gaye aur kab 1st year se phir 3rd year me, hawa bhi nahi lagi!

Hmm… Where did the time go? Someone great has said, “No matter how long and arduous the journey is, it seems rather easy when you have some great friends to walk with.” And just how true it is! In these three years, we have been through lots of ups and downs. Someone close passed away, something terrible happened. There have been moments that’d have broken us, had you, my dear friend, not been there for me, to stand by my side to share your love, warmth and affection…

Man! No doubt it is because of our great friends, whom we love so much, that we didn’t realise just where the bloody hell these three years went! This life with friends, day in and day out, it was like a three–year–long, fun-filled vacation. And at end of a vacation you liked, you always think it went by rather quickly. This is it pals—great friends, great time, great journey, unforgettable moments, priceless memories… Sad that it’s over now, and we have to part ways.

And it’s not just our friends that we’re gonna miss, but also our classmates with whom we hardly spoke. These are the faces we’ve been seeing every day, theirs are the voices we’ve been hearing for the past three years. It has become a habit to see them. We’re used to it, man. I gotta admit, when in final year our sections were reshuffled, I started missing people I had not talked to much! There ‘is’ a bond. We all will miss each other. We’ll miss our daily routine, our habit of coming to college and chilling with our superb friends, bunking classes, sitting in Nescafe, Monu dhaba ke parathe, marking proxy attendance, sleeping in class, sitting under the tree and having good time. Damn! Ek Sunday toh jhela nahi jaata tha, sem breaks seemed like waaaaay tooooo long; how we used to crave for college to reopen soon! Heck, now this college won’t reopen for us. Life at IMS is over. We’ll sorely miss this life. UGHHH I’m already missing it!!!

Ok. It’s hard to say goodbye, we’ll miss each other terribly. We’ll miss this place terribly. Damn! This is where you found your first crush, some lucky ones found their true love, we made great friends, we learned what life is. Boy! This is where we lived, we laughed, we cried, we loved, we lost, we comforted, we flirted, we sang, we teased… This is where we grew up!! We’re gonna miss this place a lot, for sure…

Hey, it’s alright! Human beings are emotional creatures. Go ahead, cry out a tear for your friends, for the priceless moments you’ve shared. It’s completely worth it! Do remember your friends and miss them, and when you do so, let them know it. College is over, now we won’t get to see each other every day, but whenever we’ll feel low, we’ll remember that there’s a friend who cares for us, loves us, understands us and will always be there by our side, no matter what. And that would bring out our most innocent smile! What a great feeling it is…

Cheers to life! Cheers to our friendship! Cheers to the BBA 2005-2008 batch! And I had never thought I’d say it, but cheers to IMS (ewww)!! We rule!! To bhaiyon, aur ladkiyon… Love you all, miss you all (seriously yaar). Kuch kaha-suna maaf kar dena. Keep in touch, scrap karte rehna, and keep bugging each other! Love you!

“...You wanna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time...”
— Bon Jovi in You Wanna Make A Memory